The New York Times has a lengthy article about the idea that marriages would be better if people just let go of the notion of monogamy as a universal expectation of married couples. The article features the views of sex advice expert Dan Savage:
Savage believes monogamy is right for many couples. But he believes that our discourse about it, and about sexuality more generally, is dishonest. Some people need more than one partner, he writes, just as some people need flirting, others need to be whipped, others need lovers of both sexes. We can’t help our urges, and we should not lie to our partners about them. In some marriages, talking honestly about our needs will forestall or obviate affairs; in other marriages, the conversation may lead to an affair, but with permission. In both cases, honesty is the best policy. … Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners. And that, Savage says, destroys more families than it saves.
Here is the phrase that jumps out at me: “we can’t help our urges.”
Isn’t the Christian answer to this: “No, we cannot. That is why we need God’s grace.”