John the former Methodist (?) has a pair of painful posts about his exit from the ordination process. Like many, I pray for him and feel the frustration of this cyber-community. It is difficult to show true compassion through blogs and e-mail.
His posts raise questions that I cannot answer and allegations that trouble the mind and spirit. Some of the commenters seem to be hinting and encouraging John to not wallow in his anger and hurt. They might even be telling him to “get over it” and “move on.” Some might be uncomfortable with the “public” airing of his experience.
To me, it all raises important questions about the nature of this online community – including the question of whether calling it a “community” is wishful thinking or accurate description.
In a face-to-face small group experience, we would certainly not advise a person who is in pain and feeling betrayed to move on – not so fast. There would be recognition that a person must lament and cry out. There is a time for ashes and sackcloth. There is a time for Elijah to spend in the cave of despair before God comes along again to summon him out.
Now, maybe the inherently public nature of blogging changes that. Maybe the Methoblog community is not a community of care but something else – something that should not be the scene of wailing and gnashing.
My prayer is that John is surrounded by some actual humans and a community of care that can hear his anger and his sense of betrayal and whatever else it is that torments his soul in these days. On Christmas we rejoice that the Word – that God – put on flesh and walked among us. There is something about our faith that must be wrapped up in flesh and must take place in the exchange between actual people who breathe the same air. May John have that in these hours.
I am a part-time local pastor serving 
This love we believe to be the medicine of life, the never-failing remedy for all the evils of a disordered world, for all the miseries and vices of men. Wherever this is, there are virtue and happiness going hand in hand. There is humbleness of mind, gentleness, long-suffering, the whole image of God; and at the same time a peace that passeth all understanding, and joy unspeakable and full of glory.
In a face-to-face small group experience, we would certainly not advise a person who is in pain and feeling betrayed to move on – not so fast.
It depends on the nature (“quality”?) of the group. Some folks get upset or embarrassed when other folks honestly express their pain. They quickly try to “fix” it.
Yes. I guess I should have expanded the thought a bit more. Some people respond poorly in face-to-face encounters as well. But there is more opportunity for true compassion – being with a person in their pain – than online.
At least, that is my experience and observation. Maybe this rising generation experiences “virtual” presence differently than I do.
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I don’t really read John’s blog and I don’t know the details of what happened, but on the subject of ‘whether the internet is community’….
I think that sometimes it can be but there I’m not sure there can be real community other than in person.
In some ways, blogging is like standing the middle of a town square and announcing things to all and sundry. We may get words of support but most people won’t comment. We open ourselves to people who may decide to make us the target for all their anger. I know someone who was harassed in real life simply for saying on his blog something like ‘John Doe has been a good city councilor’
A blog is also, to some extent ‘journalistic’. It can be like writing an article for a newspaper and can give people and causes good or bad PR. This aspect of blogging can be like playing with fire even if we are totally ‘in the right’.
Well, we are two things — a Methoblog community, and a very public forum. We are the people who speak up and share friendship, but all of this takes place in what is certainly not a private setting. And it’s important to not forget that.
But your instincts are good: there is a time for wailing and gnashing of teeth, and a person in pain should not be shushed into silence unless that person is doing him/herself appreciable harm. And a good friend or pastor waits in the presence of that pain, and does not chafe in discomfort at the raw emotion.
John, thanks for stopping by. May the peace of Christ be with you.